Why People Lie: A Judge Judy Adventure Part 2

Why People Lie Part 2 Important Notes and Concepts

Remember, I’m not diagnosing anyone in this video, only using behavior to outline important psychology ideas.

Additional Note:  I should have used the term “vindictive triumph” in my analysis in this video.  It is an idea that we will explore more in the future.

Also, watch the woman’s smile that I point out.  I missed it at first, but she also subtly nods her head in agreement (2 minutes 30 seconds mark) when she is called “vindictive.”

Differences in Male and Female Aggression

In general, men have more avenues of both aggression and assertiveness available to them than do women. Obviously, men as a group can act out aggression using physical violence with more success than women. During sexual divergence at puberty, girls tend to learn to suppress overtly aggressive behaviors if they are inclined toward them in the first place.

In and of itself, this means that women have to be in the world in a different way than men.

Men tend to have a different kind of physical presence than women. We know that men tend to be larger, stronger, and better built for physical combat. This means that, particularly when it comes to men of some size and/or fitness, men (whether they are aware of it or not) can easily project a commanding presence.

As a result, simply by virtue of their physical presence, men can use the threat of physical violence to intimidate, inspire compliance, or encourage agreement. Some men receive these things without employing any threat simply due to the obviousness of their capability.

In many cases, physical and psychological capability are sensed by other people (both men and women) and inspire respect. This phenomenon can occur either on a conscious level, an unconscious level, or both.

This allows many men to achieve goals through either assertiveness, aggression, or some combination of the two related to their physicality.

What we are describing can be termed Physical Command, and it’s not an option for women.

This phenomenon has made it important for women who want to assert themselves in the public world and in historically male spaces to gain control of and/or influence over institutions.

Men can use physical aggression, threats, intimidation (Overt Aggression), or mere physical command more successfully than women. This means that women are often left with only ridicule, reputation damage, and relationship damage (Relational or Covert Aggression).

In the context in which are are working in this video, institutions take the place of physical aggression for women. Although men use institutions for aggression as well, gaining control and/or influence over institutions is more important for women who want to act out aggressively as they don’t have as many other avenues as do men.

This means that both the practical and conscious threats and the underlying, sometimes unconscious, implied threats from women are different than those of men.

All the above also helps account for the sort of behavior we see in our selected video.